Clearing the Path for Success
There’s a trick to making your life work, you know. People who are successful know how to get out of their own way. And it’s not easy to move forward if you are dragging a thousand pound bag of your past along with you.
What happened in your life happened. Oh Well! Now, what are you going to do so your past doesn’t use up all your NOW? What will you do to give your future a fighting chance?
There’s only one thing to do: Dump the Trash. Stop carrying the trash bag around with you. Empty out all the junk that drags you down and keeps you from fulfilling your true potential.
Try this – Tonight –
- Turn off the TV and your cell phone
- Get out a pad of paper
- Turn on a little music, maybe get a glass of wine, and relax
- Without judgment, write down everything that upsets you: people, things, places, situations, things you’ve said and regret, what others have said that hurt. Include mistakes you and others have made.
- Keep writing until you can’t think of anything else.
- Then ask if there is anything in your past that needs to be added to the list.
- Allow yourself to feel sadness, grief, frustration, betrayal, self-recrimination. Just notice all of it.
- When you are done, review the list.
- Then – read each one aloud and say, “I forgive this.” That’s all. Even if you don’t feel it, say it. “I forgive this.”
- As you forgive it, take a big marking pen and cross it off.
Once you have crossed off every item on your list, take it out to your BBQ, or put it in a fireplace — set that list on fire. Take a deep breath, forgive yourself, and get on with your life. Reflect for a moment what it would be like to just love yourself for you you are, warts and all. What would it be like to live a life without all the baggage? You can, you know. It’s a choice.
This is not a one time exercise. I’ve been doing this every New Year’s Eve and every Birthday Eve since 1981. The first time I had more than a dozen pages. Single spaced… Ok, I had issues.
Each successive list was shorter and shorter.
You’ll discover, if you stick with this, there will be a small number of items that come up time after time. Those are legitimate issues that need to be dealt with directly. Now that you’ve gotten rid of the small stuff, it’s time to find someone to talk with.
I consider my “dump the trash” exercise to be like taking the leaf blower to the back yard. It rids me of all the “leaves” — the tiny non-specific, nagging issues that hang out in the back of my mind. And, like a broken bicycle or bent golf club hiding under the leaves, these are the broken parts of me that need forgiving. It’s where I can use a little help. I can’t see those parts if the leaves block them from my sight.
Benefits
This ritual has helped me work on myself and open up to possibilities. The more often I do it, the easier it is to let go of the past. I’m determined not to let my past dictate my future. Every day is a choice for me, and it can be for you, too.
May you create wonder and joy in 2010!
All the best,
Beth
See the first post in this series.
© 2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All rights reserved
I couldn’t pass this one up! You are good girl. I actually do a similar exercise on a regular basis. As part of my spiritual practice I use to write down at night before I went to bed all the things that disturbed me during the day, dealt with my anger and then practiced forgiveness. It certainly cleared up energy before sleep. Forgiveness is clearly a choice and you are right, the more we practice it the easier it becomes to let our stuff go. My birthday is Dec. 28th and I have a similar ritual to end the year and begin the new year. I spend a lot of time on my birthday and on the 31st in meditation asking that I be guided in looking at what I need to deal with and what I am to do for the new year that will be of service. It is my ritual for the new year and at times very powerful. I love your ritual too.
Thanks Eileen – I like the idea of doing this every night. It’s like giving yourself a daily performance review. I think I will add that. It definitely clears up the energy for a better night’s sleep. And we can all use that!
Happy Belated Birthday!
Beth
Your “dozen pages” comment made me laugh. This sounds like a good practice to do over and over again. A really good cleansing of the soul. My guess is it’s probably left a tear or two on your cheek. Am I right?
Jackie – I have to admit – it was actually 17 pages… And yes, there are a lot of tears. It was the first time I had ever conceived of such an exercise, and I was so miserable that I just had to let it out somewhere. Then, taking it all to the hibachi and setting it on fire was amazingly cathartic. So every time I got upset, I started to do write it and then burn it. What’s interesting is that one year later – when I did my annual New Year’s Eve “dump the trash” – I only had 2 pages. So it really does dissolve the small stuff and sets you free. I hope my readers will at least try it. It’s very freeing.