Avoid 3 Mistakes When Making Resolutions
My #1 Resolution this year is to help my readers increase their resilience. Let’s start by creating a path that will get you there. Authentic, do-able Resolutions can be that path.
Most of us have a love-hate relationship with New Year’s Resolutions. We either refuse to do them, or get carried away with promises to ourselves that “This year will be different!”
When it isn’t different, and those Resolutions fall by the wayside, we tell ourselves that Resolutions don’t work!
Actually, they do work… IF you are smart about setting them and don’t get carried away. Think of Resolutions as a road map, a plan for the year. When you get that plan in place, you can fill in the details. It’s not more exotic than you figuring out a path for your errands tomorrow: “I will maximize time and save gas tomorrow. (So — I will first go to the post office, because it’s on the right side of the road and comes first. Then I’ll go to the drycleaners a block east of the post office. Then I’ll go to the frame shop, which is on the other side of the road on my way home. And I’ll end at the grocery store down the street so none of the cold food gets too warm.)”
That’s all a Resolution is: a path that leads to where you want to go. It is not important in and of itself. It encompasses the SENSE of your INTENTION. The place it takes you to is what matters. The journey can be fun, but you are RESOLVING/INTENDING to stay on that journey.
Avoid These Three Common Mistakes:
1. Too Grandiose — “I will build an addition onto our house by myself and be finished by Easter.” “I will be fluent in a new language by June.” “I will lose 120 pounds in 6 months.” All of these set you up for failure.
How about, “This year I will focus on making healthier choices.” Then, inside that Resolution, give yourself do-able goals that you can work on each week or each month, and take a bite out of the big things you want to do in life. Put a poster on your office wall and on the refrigerator asking: “Am I making a healthy choice?”
2. Too Drastic a Change — If you have never worked out, having a Resolution to work out 6 days a week for 4 hours at a time is too drastic. You will not make it past Monday. How about a Resolution instead that says, “This time next year, I will look in the mirror and love my body.” Then make short term, repeatable goals like: “I will work out for half an hour 3x a week for the first month, and add half an hour per day after the first month.” Once you get into the swing of things, you can adjust your workout. Make the Resolutions a solid intention, and create goals that you can reach easily, upping the ante each month.
3. OPI – (Other People’s Ideas about you.) This one used to be my downfall. Everybody had GREAT ideas for me. Other people will always have great ideas for YOU to do. They have their own little movie in their heads about the way the world works, and the closer they are to you, the more they want you to live their movie. DON’T BITE. You aren’t them. You have your own needs and your own goals. Find something that YOU want to do. What is YOUR intention for yourself? If it isn’t your idea and you have no passion about it, you are certain to fail.
Resilience starts with the INTENTION to be Resilient. Give yourself a gift and take the time to look at what isn’t working in your life. Set the Intention that you will change those things — one at a time, one day at a time.
[Tune in tomorrow to discover the one Resolution I've included every year since college -- one that has made my life interesting, exciting, and helped me create Resilience that has carried me through some very rough patches.]
Happy New Year!
Beth
PS. Check out my Blogathon Partners over there in the right hand corner. We all decided we needed to be more conscious about blogging regularly, so our buddy Jackie Dishner, author of a great Travel Book on Arizona, got us motivated to have a Blogathon. Now that’s a way to get your Resolutions going!
© 2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Beth,
I love the post, especially the one about OPI. One of the biggest “catch 22′s” is the fine line between great ideas that we get from other people (the things we may never have thought of) and those that think they really know what’s best for us, but we know from experience the idea won’t work. How to deal?…..
Stephanie
Stephanie – good point. We need to digest new information and use our discernment about it’s validity for us. I’m an Extravert, so I need to talk it out with others to get a sense of it. I also know that we are all blinded by our own confirmation bias. Yet, I find there is a lightness in me when I follow my highest and best good; and conversely, there is a heaviness if I don’t. So I try to pay attention to that.
All the best this year!
Beth
Beth, you expressed some very wise thoughts as we head into 2010!
Intentions are important to me… Knowing the direction in each area of my life that is important to me .
I also like to have a theme for each new year.
This year my focus is creating systems to make my life and business run
more smoothly.
I haven’t yet come up with my theme title yet…..I like to tie it into the year…. something that would connect with 2010 relating to systems.
If anyone has an idea…let me know..
Like in 2008 it was “Connect and Create in 2008″
Happy 2010!
s:)
Suzanne – How about “Smooth Systems, Smooth Sailing?” That would work. My theme –as it has really been for the last 20 years — is Finding Resilience. I just didn’t realize it until last year when I changed my brand to Cactus Wrangler. I’ve had so many things happen in my life and I’ve always bounced back. I told God I don’t need anymore hard lessons — I’m listening! And now I can teach those lessons to others.
To a Great Year for us all!
Beth
I always spend the 31st contemplating my next “new” year. The same old trite resolutions (lose 30 pounds by my birthday April 29 – only I repeat it every single year; work out until I have those abs I keep hearing about, etc). This year I made them simple and reachable. Your ideas are great!!!! And my motto this new year is NOT to live up to OPI. (sigh)
Jeanie – You’ve had some serious challenges this year. Just celebrate that you got here! And make the new year a time to enjoy your life! To heck with OPI! We humans just like to give other people ideas so we don’t have to pay attention to our own lives. Everybody has a little of that in them. Oh Well!
Have a blessed New Year!
Beth
Hi Beth,
Been there, done that. I have defnitely created my own problems with my own resolutions. I no longer use that word. I set goals, instead. “I resolve to do something” doesn’t work for me. If I set goals, on the other hand, I am more apt to take action. And that’s key to achieving success. Great story, good tips. And thanks for being a part of the blogathon. It’s going to start the year off right–with action.
Jackie
Jackie – Thank you for getting us all back to our blogs. I think Twitter took over this year. It’s so easy to tweet for two minutes than actually THINK about what I would say in a blog. So you got me back to my journal… thanks! And, BTW, that was one of my “resolves” for the year!
Hope your book continues to do well!
Happy New Year,
Beth
What great advice, Beth! I love the idea of resolutions as a road map. That’s a much more user friendly way to embrace the idea! And OPI is my favorite new acronym for 2010!
Happy New Year and healthy resolutions to you and your readers!
Mimi
Thanks Mimi! Yep – the day I figured out a Resolution was a roadmap for my Intentions, was the day I stopped fearing making them! And who cares about OPI? I need to march to my own drummer!
Hey – love your recipe for Black Eyed peas. I’m going to run to the store and get the ingredients! Sounds yummy! And Lord knows I can use all the New Year’s Luck I can muster!
All the best to you and yours in 2010! May it be a stellar year for us all!
Beth