Unconnected Disconnected Discombobulated

872 emails

25 Texts

18 voice mails

glaring blog absence

I spent the first part of last week in Coolidge, Arizona. A city so small they still have a population and elevation sign as you enter town. I drove back to Phoenix and hopped a plane 4 hours later to New York City. The hotel I stayed in had more people on the first 30 floors than the entire town of Coolidge.

What did they  have in common? I couldn’t get online in either place. Trying to call out while driving through the desolate desert areas on my way back to Phoenix was an adventure in patience. I’d get someone on the phone – partly  to keep myself awake driving through the glaring, hot desert. And mid-sentence, lose them.

Then, New York City! Home of “Sex in the City!” “Friends.” “Will and Grace.” “Seinfeld.”

It looks far less complicated and far cleaner on TV. Somehow those people are always connected, online, texting successfully, reading their emails. The 41st floor of the Marriott was as sophisticated as Coolidge, Arizona when it came to the internet. Maybe it was the bejillion watts of electricity outside my window – all those flashing neon signs and ads for everything from Coke™ to Dark Knight. Maybe it was the 1,800+ “Type A” personalities there with me for the National Speakers Association convention.

But my phone AND my laptop simply decided NOT to work. Not only that… the high tech 22nd century elevator system was on the fritz most of our stay. Turned out my wonderful 41st floor view room was actually a 41st floor walk up. Even my roommate, the lovely Blog Goddess and tech genius Tia, had trouble getting online. So it wasn’t just me.

Now, to be fair to the Marriott – we “Type A” speakers caused the elevator to wig out. I suggested as I left that Marriott needs to put up a sign that reads, “If you push the elevator call button more than once for your floor, it will delay your elevator’s arrival.” Some of my colleagues were seen hitting the dang buttons 20 and 30 times for the same floor. See, you punch in your floor number and it tells you which elevator has been programmed to take you to the floor. You do this OUTSIDE the elevator. Quite an elegant system… for normal people.

For us, not so elegant. One woman near me hit the elevator program button at LEAST 12 times. Then she gave up and went on the wrong elevator and decided she’d take the stairs the rest of the way. I stood in the elevator lobby alone in an eerily comic scene as each door opened one after another with her elevator floor listed on it. As if ghosts, tired of flying, had called the elevators to the main lobby.

On two occasions I decided to try the Starbucks nearby to get connected. I was beginning to panic. Several days without blogging and emailing was making me nervous. Here I was in the largest condensed city in the US, surrounded by 1,800 of my closest speaker friends, and I was feeling disconnected and alone. I HAD TO GET ONLINE! WHAT IF SOMETHING WAS GOING ON!

I wandered into Starbucks and it was packed. Another Mac person, seeing my telltale Apple logo, told me she was having trouble connecting. I decided not to try. Went back to the humans and stopped trying to find cyberspace. But at least at ground level my phone worked. For one phone call. Enough for me to discover that a meeting planner had been looking for me. I borrowed another phone and got that handled. Weird thing was, my phone kept locking up. I restarted it at least a dozen times. Thought it was broken and I’d have to replace it once I got home to Phoenix.

Sitting at JFK, I noticed a free WiFi spot. YEAH! Sat down, plugged in, tried to download the Boingo software. No go. Nova. Nada. Nothing. Couldn’t get online. Maybe New York was starting to notice I wasn’t crazy about it. Him. Her. Whatever. I decided this was my week to be disconnected and surrendered. I’d be home soon enough to wrestle with the debris of my disconnect.

Layover in Charlotte. Lovely white rocking chairs nestled here and there. Free WiFi everywhere. Security certificate no good. Who the hell cares? I snuggled into a rocking chair and FINALLY got online. 1,437 spam on my blog. (Will you bozos PLEASE KNOCK IT OFF?)   872 emails. Oh goodie.

Then my phone miraculously healed itself. No lock ups. No battery death every two hours. But -25 Texts and 18 voice mails on my cell. Another dozen or so on my office phone. Handled what I could and boarded the plane.

Funny thing is, even though it was weird to be disconnected and discombobulated, I notice looking back that I got a lot more done. Maybe a cyber diet is in order. Maybe I need to set a timer for emails, write my blog posts in Word and just post that way. Maybe it’s a good thing to not always be available by phone.

I notice that everything got handled. Everyone is OK.  Speaking gigs got booked. Meeting planners understood. Friends who emailed and called were fine. Such drama for nothing. Cyber-vacations are a good idea. Next time I’ll just plan it instead of fighting it.

And, if you stay at the beautiful Marriott Marquis in Times Square? Hit the dang button just once, please! You’ll save us all a lot of grief!

Safe Travels!

Beth

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Beth Terry, CSP, is a Certified Speaking Professional and Author. She speaks on finding resilience in an insane world.

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All International and US Rights Reserved