Take care of yourself… We Need You!
Just got a note from one of my newsletter subscribers. I had written about the importance of being “selfish” and taking care of yourself. Sometimes the bed, the kids, and the laundry will wait. So will that “all important project” at work.
I thought this conversation was worth sharing. So many of us rescue our kids when consequences wouldn’t be all that dire for them. We don’t see that our rescue robs them of the ability to learn from their mistakes, and robs us of the Life Balance that makes us effective as business owners, employees, and parents.
She wrote:
“Beth – you can’t believe how great the timing was when your email came. This month I have come to the realization that I cannot afford to continue on the same path financially. I am pretty thrifty but tend to spoil my two teenagers (not really spoil but give them what they think are necessities – internet, cell phones, car insurance.)
I have not slept more than a few hours the last week – worrying about how I am going to pay the electric bill all the while making a car payment for my son or paying his astronomical insurance bill (he is only 18 and going to college) I would love to pay all those things but cannot afford to. After reading your “moment” I am going to take small steps, like selling the car and getting a cheaper one, maybe they do not need all those minutes on the phone. Just something. Thank you! I needed that.”
California Single Mom
~~~
Hi Single Mom – I appreciate this! I know how hard it is to raise kids and pay for all that stuff. It’s harder to tell them to pitch in and pay some of it themselves.
With my kids I finally held a family meeting and laid down the law. They had chores on the fridge and if they didn’t do them, they lost a privilege. I explained to them that even though it looked harsh, that’s how the real world operates and I loved them enough to not spoil them. When one of them told me she wanted to be “spoiled” – I pulled out a bottle of spoiled milk and poured it. I asked her if she’d drink it – she said “NO!” and I said, “Sweetie, that’s what spoiled looks like. Spoiled people don’t keep jobs, spouses, or friends. When you show people you care enough to pull your own weight, they are more likely to help you when you need it.”
You know from your job that your kids need to learn about being financially smart as soon as possible. Don’t rescue them when the stakes are so low for them. If you do, you’ll be rescuing them at 30 and 40 when the stakes are higher and your grandkids are at risk!
And, hey, I put myself through college and paid my own insurance bill. If he can’t do that, he can take the bus. You won’t be any good to him if you’re in the hospital from worrying and working too much.
Funny how that works when they start paying their phone charges! Suddenly they find ways to communicate without using up all those minutes!!
Take care of yourself. They need you more than your bill-paying abilities! Now, give yourself a hug, drink some chamomile tea tonight before bed, and get a good night’s sleep.
I’m pulling for you,
Beth
~~~
Professional Speaker, Author, and Trainer
© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All International Rights Reserved
