What makes you happy?… Sunday Musings
What is happiness to you? We toss that word around as though everyone has the same definition. Happy Holidays! Happy Birthday! Happy New Year! Notice we don’t say Happy Christmas. Too much pressure. Just have a “Merry’ one, perhaps that’s all you can expect, given the heavy family pressure and all. But then, we say Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa… so who knows?
Happiness is an elusive concept and is different for each of us. There are cultural pressures on what ‘should’ make us happy. One report from Reuters several years ago noted that in Japan people say they are happy when they have met their family’s expectations. In most US cultures, we are taught in everything from school to TV to movies that happiness stems from achievement and ‘success’ (finding the definition of THAT is another blog…)
So. What makes YOU happy? Don’t just say “More.” If you want more money –Why? Will it give you more prestige, influence, security, safety? What is it about more money that spells happiness? Or do you want more time? Why? What about that rocks your boat?
Maybe you would be happier with “Less.” Less cellulite. Less debt. Less responsibility. Less time alone – less time together.
We each have our own personal movie about happiness. Ben Franklin said,
“There are two ways of being happy: we may either diminish our wants or augment our means. Either will do, the result is the same. And it is for each man to decide for himself and do that which happens to be the easiest.”
He’s got a point. Often what we think will make us happy turns out not to be all that wonderful. We look far off into a distant future and think how wonderful it will be when we reach that goal. Yet the goal is reached one step at a time, and we may find ourselves living in that goal and not realize we have arrived. Are you the happiest you will ever be and you haven’t stopped to notice it?
Remember that old song from the 60′s: “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” Too many people have had happiness and thought once it was achieved, it was here to stay. They didn’t think they had to keep working at it. They didn’t notice they had it until it left.
Do yourself a favor. If you’ve reached your goals, sit back and say, “Hey, this is good. I’m just going to hang out and let myself be happy about being here. Right now. In this place I dreamed I would reach.”
I’ve had some very happy times in my life, and I’ve had some that were pretty tough. It’s easy to look back and regret that I didn’t focus enough on enjoying where I was at the time. Instead, I choose to notice the small successes I have now.
I figure – I may not have some of the things I had in the past. And I may not look as good as I did in my 40′s. But I look and feel a heckuva lot better now than I will in 20 or 30 years! So that’s something to acknowledge and feel good about! That reminds me of a line from another 60′s song: “THESE are the Good ol’ Days.” These are the days we will look back on wistfully.
So take a deep breath. Be thankful for what you have. Be glad you can do what you can do now. Try it. That little glimmer of relief you feel is happiness.
Happy December!
Beth
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Beth Terry is a Certified Speaking Professional and Trainer who travels the world conducting training programs and speaking to conventions and conferences. Her high energy and humorous programs are filled with common sense, practical, memorable and do-able tips and tools. Topics: How to handle crazy times and difficult people, Overwhelm, Stress, Change, Difficult Customers, Difficult Employees, Difficult Bosses.
Her books, Walking in a Crowd of Angels * and 101 Ways to Make Your Life Easier are Great Ways to get your loved ones motivated and inspired over the holidays and into the new year. Order today!!
© 2007 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc
* While supplies last. We are down to the last box of our First Edition copies of Walking In a Crowd of Angels. This is the book that was distributed at the Pentagon to families who lost a loved on in the attack of 9/11
