Who’s Raising the Next Generation?
“The fastest growing segment of the workforce is employees 27 and under.” So states an Executive Briefing from VersantWorks. So – where did these young employees and entrepreneurs get their values? What about the generation following them? As a society, we need to pay attention to the informal training our future is receiving.
MTV is teaching our kids about sex and relationships. Video games and violent movies are teaching them about weapon handling, life and death, the futility of life in the future, “every man for himself,” sex, graft, and corruption. Ads everywhere teach consumerism and materialism as measurements of worth and happiness.
So, what are YOU teaching them? Have you had an Expectations Conversation* with them? Do they know how to think critically about all the data being dumped into their still-unformed personalities?
Do they know how to resist self-destructive ideas, behaviors, and role models? Do they have a good reason to resist? Have you taught them self-respect instead of hollow self-esteem? Have you given them the tools to survive and thrive in an increasingly crazy world? If not you, then who?
We’ve tied the hands of our teachers. We can’t expect them to teach what we don’t at home. Ultimately, it’s up to each of us to influence the next generations in ways that will help them cope; give them a chance to succeed.
IMHO a strong dose of discipline with a hefty helping of love is a lot better than worrying what your kids think of you. You do your kids a disservice when you don’t lay down the law and tell them what you expect from them.
And you do a bigger disservice when you don’t make it clear that keeping them ‘on the straight and narrow’ is a form of loving them. I figure you give them lots of loving discipline and then plan on paying for a shrink when they’re 20.
* The Expectations Conversation all parents should have with their kids:
- We expect you to do your homework and your chores. That’s your ‘rent’ for living here. We don’t expect you to like it. And we don’t need you to like it. We just need you to do it.
- We expect you to treat your parents, your siblings, your relatives, and visitors to our home with respect.
- We expect you to treat our home and the things we and others have purchased with respect. When people buy things, they put hours of work and effort behind earning the money to buy them. You do not have a ‘right’ to things you did not purchase except for your parents providing food, shelter, and survival . When you have a job and the means to purchase things, you will understand. Until then, be happy with what our means are able to provide for you.
- We expect you to tell the truth: when you screwed up, when you need help, when someone has harmed you, when you don’t understand.
- You can expect that we may be disappointed, confused, and frustrated when you tell the truth. We may institute some form of consequences for those acts, because in life there are consequences for every behavior … AND you can expect that we will love you no matter what.
- Finally – you cannot expect the world to jump up and cheer just because you showed up to work. No matter what your school told you, the world operates on competition. It is real and it can be daunting if you had all competition removed from your experience as a child.
- We love you enough that we want you to have self-respect. The self-respect that comes from wanting, putting effort in, sometimes failing, sometimes achieving. And always learning.
- Self-esteem without self-respect is hollow and cheap. Self-respect will help you resist not only the bully in the school yard, it will help you resist temptation in your job to be unethical, do immoral or illegal things, or operate without compassion.
- All these we expect from you because we love you and we are counting on you to carry forward a legacy of integrity, compassion, wisdom, and accountability. And we know you can do this.
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Try it… what do you have to lose? And look at what you’ll gain: children who make you proud. Employees and Entrepreneurs who work honestly and with integrity. A country and a society that’s a little less crazy because you, and your kids, were here.
Don’t believe this works? Go read my June newsletter about my four beautiful stepdaughters who were raised with these expectations. I’m proud to say, they got it
Beth, feeling proud of all my kids
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Beth Terry, CSP
Professional Speaker and Author
Website
© 2007 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.
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