Snarky Snippy “Social” Media
When did we get so mean? Scroll through any of your favorite YouTube moments and there are multitudes of snarky, unkind, uncalled-for remarks. Chat rooms and forums, where anonymity is “guaranteed” (except, really, it Isn’t...) people flame and trash each other with no holds barred.
Has it always been this way and we just weren’t privy to the inner workings of some peoples’ minds? Or is this the result of the anonymization offered by the internet? Is it because people aren’t getting lost in good books, they are getting lost in 5-second sound bytes instead? Whatever it is, it’s heartbreaking and distressing.
Humans don’t get their rational “micro chip” until about age 8.
I’ve often wondered at the triple threat of violent video games, violent movies, and “mean girl” type sitcoms coming out of Hollywood. What do they do to the human psyche? According to neurologist Dr. Richard Restak, Humans don’t get their rational “micro chip” until about age 8. That means we are not capable of making rational connections — this causes that, this is connected to that, this is real and this isn’t — until we are older than 8. And male humans don’t get their impulse control microchip until age 25 (thus the crime and accident stats for males under that age.) Females get their impulse control microchip around age 18 (thus why females often do better than males in college.)
But what monster have we unleashed? And how do we put some semblance of civility back into society? Is this the harbinger of the end … are we so angry and unhappy at home that we have to unleash that happiness through our keyboards?
I recently discovered a potential, albeit slight, trademark infringement. My intellectual property attorney advised me that I needed to at least call attention to it. Since my trademark is broad (costing me thousands of dollars in the process) I need to keep an eye on it to retain it – that is just the nature of the beast. So I wrote a short, polite note. The derision, scorn, attacks on my credibility and talent, attacks on my choice of profession, my website, attacks on my intellect and/or understanding of Trademark law were stunning. There were calmer and more reasonable voices chiming in as well. But more disturbing than the personal attacks was the fact that complete strangers had nothing better to do than spew those things online.
One wonders what the reward is for that behavior. And also – since everything we write online has a half-life of 500 years, what kinds of research will be done in the future that will come back and bite the biters? We sit in complete confidence today that an anonymous attack is just that — anonymous. Or is it? Will it come back later to haunt the offending snark? It could. 
If all comments had to be accompanied by a real photo of the person commenting, would that change online conversations?
We say we are now a “global village.” Yes and no. In a real village, NO ONE was anonymous. If you sneezed at 1 AM in the basement of your home, the entire village would ask about your health the next day. We will not be a “village” until we start to put some filters on our remarks.
Here’s a personal motto I’ve had on my business card for years:
Be good to people
you don’t know who they are
you don’t know who they know
and you don’t know who they might become.
Be conscious out there! And let’s be kind.
Beth
© 2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved
The Wonder of Social Media
The Two Beth Terry's Meet in Hawaii
Social media has changed the landscape of relationships and connections. Because of social media, I’ve been delighted to discover the “other Beth Terry’s” out in cyberspace. We are finding that we are very similar. This morning, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Beth Terry from FakePlasticFish.com She’s in Hawaii for a few days and our paths finally crossed in the “real” world. We met at the incomparable Dukes Waikiki Restaurant and immediately bonded.
I love her passion and intelligence. It’s readily apparent why she’s made such an impact in environmental circles.
Beth brought her dad, Ray Terry, with her. He watched his daughter and I with bemusement as we carried on like we’ve been friends since childhood. We are cut from the same cloth: our passion for our mission is palpable.
Beth is a well-respected and much followed blogger on the issues of plastics clogging up the planet. I’m proud to share my name with her. She gave me a glass straw so I can be more mindful of even the smallest plastic infringement on our environment. And I gave her a copy of my book, along with a cloth bag one of her fans gave to me in an airport – mistaking me for her.
That’s not the first time I’ve been mistaken for her. I recently gave a proposal to a company in Hawaii, and they told me, “With your broad experience in both staff development AND environmental issues, you’ll be quite an asset for our company.” I had to set them straight. After meeting Beth Terry this morning, I think I’ll talk with her about dialing her into those clients… That’s a win-win-win-win proposition!
Now that I’m aware of Beth and her blog, I find myself apologizing to her silently when I use a plastic bag, as I did just now when I bought leis to take back to the mainland. Even though I brought a cloth bag, I know the leis won’t make the trip very well without plastic. And of course, I forgot to bring an extra plastic bag. So I will recycle the plumeria-smelling bag when I get to Phoenix and deliver my cargo.
Go check out Beth’s Blog and join in the fight to protect our environment.
Then go online and find people with YOUR name. Write me and tell me of your adventures.
Life is good.
Beth
© 2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Four Ways to Stay Motivated
Times are uncertain. (Newsflash: times have ALWAYS been uncertain.) Granted, things are a bit shaky now. Taking care of yourself and keeping yourself focused and motivated is one positive way to make the world better because you were here for awhile.
Whether you are an individual or a company, these tips will help you create some stability for yourself and those who count on you:
Get Clear: What matters to you now? What doesn’t matter all that much? If you could sit down and write your story, what would it be? What are the desired outcomes? Where should you Focus? Who are the people you want in your life? What do you want to be doing with your skills and talents? If you are a company, what value are you bringing to the party?
Re-Invent: The clarion call these days is this: What used to work DOESN”T. I see that in my business, and I’m seeing it in closed shops and empty warehouses across town. Don’t panic – THINK. What do people need that you’ve got? What do you need to learn to provide that to them? What are your action steps to take you to a new way of operating? What can you do right now without a huge expenditure? What funds do you have to help you do what you need to do?
Simplify: What do you need to stop doing? What can you let go of? What can you sell or give away? Where can you be more efficient? What processes are keeping you from being productive? What actions take too much time? Have you let the internet run your life? (Email, internet, online chats, games…) What systems and new habits can you put in place to manage that?
Be Present: While you are wrestling with uncertainty, confusion, overwhelm, and business & personal concerns — Life is passing you by. Each day is a choice. Each breath is life. Holing up in your windowless office, burying your head in work, beating your head against the wall are all self-defeating and life-sucking activities. Do what you can with what you have. But make sure you take time for YOU. Make sure you take time for the people you love before they are gone.
Life turns on a dime. How long do you think you have?
It might be a hairy ride today. But as my buddies at Handlebar J’s say, “Every day above ground is a good one.” Make the most of what you have, and Remember Who You Are.
Happy Birthday America!
Happy Fourth of July Everyone!
Take care and be safe this weekend!
Beth and the Team
© 2010 Beth terry Seminars, Inc.
Meeting Planners: Hire a Pro
Meeting Planners – do you want to have exciting, wondrous, successful, happy, powerful meetings? Dumb question. Everyone knows we need a shot in the arm these days. People who are attending meetings are not just hoping for the latest data from the industry. Although they need that to survive. They aren’t just looking for information on using Social Media to market. Although everyone knows we need all the help we can get.
What they WANT and NEED is a shot in the arm.
Last year we saw a rise in “Industry Experts” at conferences. All conferences need industry experts. They have deep knowledge in specific disciplines that will keep attendees current. But they don’t present for a living. As a matter of fact, many of them either don’t write their speech, or lose sleep for weeks preparing for it.
It’s time to bring back the Pros. While you’re preparing your Call for Speakers, remember - Professional speakers can help set the stage for the entire conference. We can light up a room, create the atmosphere for learning, and get your audience relaxed and primed. We know how to work a room. We aren’t thrown into a tizzy if the LCD projector or some other electronic thing goes on the fritz in the middle of our presentation. I once went through 7 microphones in a half hour speech. (Must have been my electric performance.) The tech guy was standing on the sidelines with extra mikes, and when one went out, I’d pause – toss him the mike and he’d toss me a new one back. It became part of our act.
Professional Speakers can help you set up a great conference. We’ll ask you questions you hadn’t even thought of yet. We understand how meetings work, and we know how to start and end on time. Nah, we’re not perfect, we just know our way around a conference. We can help you be more successful this year. And, as one meeting planner told a friend of mine, “Speakers are cheaper than the bagels!”
Scott McKain is one of my heroes. Scott is a fellow professional speaker. Smooth as silk on stage. Each line, each sentence is pure gold. I wanna be like him when I grow up. He’s a customer experience expert and a fellow CSP (Certified Speaking Professional.) He wrote a great blog post about including professional speakers in your next meetings.
And, if you have decided to go with all “industry experts’ – Call me. I’ll create a webinar just for your industry experts to get them up to speed and ready to give a great performance, and I’ll come in a few days early to meet one-on-one with any of them who need some last minute speaker coaching.
And the end of the day, you want your attendees to say it was a great meeting and they can’t wait to come back next year. Let us help you make that happen!
Beth Terry, CSP
© 2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.
The REAL Secret? Pay Attention!
I used to joke that I could probably make a million bucks if I put an ad in the paper reading: Guaranteed method for beating all speeding tickets. Send $5! I was married to a cop at the time, so people were constantly asking me how to do that.
The answer? Well, you’re reading this, so that’s worth 5 bucks. Here’s your answer:
Go the speed limit.
I realized I’d probably catch flak for that, so I never did it. But, as they say in South Dakota, ain’t that the truth?
How do you not get mugged on a dark street? Don’t walk down dark streets alone – or unarmed.
How do you not get arrested for theft? Don’t take stuff without paying for it.
How do you make your life work better? Pay attention.
Truth is, most of us have too much going on. We constantly split our attention
Truth is, most of us have too much going on. We constantly split our attention. We have good intentions when we walk in the door on Monday, and then we let emails dictate our tasks for the day. We prioritize our inbox when we leave work, and the next morning, if someone stuck something on the top of that carefully organized pile, we start with that!
My first and primary goal this morning was to pay attention.
Here’s what I wrote on a blank piece of paper on the top of my desk when I stopped working around 8pm last night:
Pay attention to what you are paying attention to.
… I know, dangling participle. Who cares? I knew what I meant.
I’ve read several studies on clutter that give the same advice: put the clutter behind you. On the floor, in a cabinet, on a table in another room. That goes for staplers, doodads, notes, piles of post-its, all the stuff. Leave only the current work on the desk in front of you.
Go ahead, try it. I’ll wait.
Notice something? It’s easier to pay attention. It’s easier to focus. I noticed the moment I moved everything off the desk except for a pad of paper and two notes, I felt an immediate relief.
That relief I felt when I cleared the clutter extended to the rest of the house. I set a timer for 40 minutes, and proceeded to zoom through my house and clear the clutter. I put a huge box in the middle of the dining room, alongside a trash bag. In 40 minutes I collected enough for a run to Goodwill, and enough trash for the recycle bin. That was the highest ROI (return on my investment) I had made in months. In slightly over half an hour, I had opened up the house and my office. My productivity soared.
What we pay attention to – Happens.
So how do you reach your goals? Pay attention to them.
How do you have happier relationships? Pay attention to them.
How do you exercise more, eat less, stop smoking ~ whatever it is you are trying to do? Pay attention.
Where the attention goes the energy flows.
The best reason for paying attention? When we don’t, the wheels can come off rapidly. And then we have no choice but to pay attention. Make your life easier. Focus on your success and your well-being. You’ll be glad you did.
More soon,
I have to go pay attention to some important things.
Cheers,
Beth
~~~~
© 2007-2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All rights reserved
Beth’s Website — Beth Terry is a Communications and Resilience Expert. Bring her in to your next conference or Corporate meeting. You’ll be glad you did!
Finding Sanity in Silence
This was supposed to be a simpler time. Computers and time-saving devices would make life easier. Not so. We’re inundated with advertising, news stories, social media, buy this buy that – it’s all noise. It’s enough to make us crawl back into bed and pull the covers up.
I just returned from a speaking trip to Singapore and Hawaii. My internal time clock is cross-eyed. After 68 hours “enroute” (I counted) my brain is reeling with two weeks of mail, email, and chores piled up on my desk. “And,” I sternly scold myself, “I’m behind on Twitter, CactusWrangler.com, and my newsletter!”
It’s easy to clear the decks and sort things out. To hunker down and “git’er done!” But that’s not enough. What did we do before all this input? How can we get away from it and find time to think?
Where do you go for silence? For meditation? How do you integrate all you read and hear? How do you decide what’s real, what’s hype, what matters?
I stumbled on my answer in the middle of the noise. On Twitter someone posted an article by George Michelsen Foy on Silence! It made me stop and ask myself some questions.
When did I stop dedicating part of my days to silence? When the kids came? When the business heated up? When the economy tanked? When social media got exciting? As a dedicated info-junkie, I know I spend far too much time searching the internet. it’s time to scale back.
There is wisdom in our ancient texts. “And on the 7th day He rested” is not necessarily a geological or historical comment. The advice ringing down through the ages is to STOP. “Resting” in 21st century terms means turn off the TV, radio, computer, iPod, iPad, cell phone, stereo, DVD ~ and go do NOTHING. Yes. NOTHING.
Activity is not necessarily always better. We have a 4 day weekend in front of us. Will you take time for YOU and allow yourself to sit in silence and just BE?
Are you willing to go inside? Inside your heart, inside your mind? Can you quiet the external noise and think about what you are thinking about? Pay attention to the stress in your body, mind, and soul. Come home.
In that silence, ask what you need to do to get back to the things that matter. Set aside everyone else’s good advice and ask for yourself. What works for me? What is my best course of action now? What discipline and what steps will take me where I need and want to go? Then do that. Put small reminders around to keep you on track. Make agreements with a few friends to keep you focused.
When you are successful, you are a beacon for others. When you stand for your beliefs and are unafraid in expressing them, you help us all find our way. When you are confident and clear, you help clarify for all. We are in this together, and we can only find our way when we occasionally rest and let our brains catch up.
Now, go take a brain break and remember to BREATHE!
All the best,
Beth
© 2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Creating Your “Personal Business Plan”
You are the owner of your future, and like all business owners, it’s important to have a plan. Solid plans come from wrestling with yourself and asking the right questions. The answers lie inside you. Give yourself the gift of time to find them.
For almost two decades I’ve used and shared a simple program to get clarity and focus. I call it my Personal Business Plan™.
This Personal Business Plan not only gives you a path to follow, it will assist you in managing your time effectively. Effective “Time Management” is really “Self-Management”. It means having the intention to discipline your self in ways that support the larger goals of your life; creating a plan to implement that intention; and finally, following through with new habits and daily activities to bring your plan to fruition.
Get in the habit of checking in with yourself quarterly. Set an appointment with yourself. Get away from the office or the house or the couch.
Create five- year, two- year, one year, and six- month goals. Tell the hard truth to yourself.
- Are you in this for the long haul?
- Are you in this for the right reasons?
- Are you living up to your potential?
- Are you disciplined enough to do this?
- What do you need to start doing?
- What do you need to stop doing?
- Who can help you?
- Why would they want to?
- Are your goals and visions realistic?
- What do you need to learn to get there?
- Where can you learn what you need to learn?
Here are Seven Questions to get you on your way:
- Where Am I?
- Where Do I want to Be?
- How do I plan to get there?
- What are my obstacles?
- How will those obstacles or the solutions to those obstacles change where I want to be?
- What are the steps necessary to respond to / solve those obstacles and get to my goal?
- Am I willing to do what it takes to overcome those obstacles?
Once you’ve asked and answered all those questions. The next step is to just get going. Figure out where you can start. What is the first thing you can do? What is the next? And the next and the next…
Start Wherever You Are
Edison, Einstein, Ford, and all the great geniuses and inventors started with the first step, just like you. If you want it and you believe in yourself enough, you can get there with some planning and commitment. It won’t happen overnight. Take it one step — and one day at a time and enjoy the journey!
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the world is full of crazy people. So – find ways to enhance your gifts, meet your challenges, and heal yourself. The world needs healthy people! We need YOU healthy!
Take care,
Beth
~~~
© 1989-2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.
It’s Time Small Business Takes Success Back
Quality Circles, Total Quality Management (TQM), Management by Objective (MBO), Management by Wandering Around (MBWA), Six Sigma, Empowerment Training ~ Sound familiar? Then you’ve been around as long as I have.
Notice one thing about the trends? The pendulum swings from right brain to left brain to right brain to left brain. Or, if you are a Myers Briggs person, it goes from Feeler to Thinker to Feeler ~ you get the point.
I was training the Managers at Pearl Harbor Shipyard in the early 90′s when the push for TQM had started to die down. The first question I was asked as I stood ready to start my program was, “So what fad are YOU going to shove down our throats?”
I answered, “Common sense. Does that work for you?”
Most managers have just about had it. Most employees are pretty much confused. If you’ve tried to institute all or some of those management fads over the past three decades, the most predictable result you have created is a cynical work force.
Don’t get me wrong. Every program I mentioned is a good program. The problem is, most CEO’s don’t go the distance. They stay with one idea for a year, then change, then change again. That form of Chaos Management makes employees nuts, and creates a lot of cynicism about further training efforts.
How about this instead: Common Sense Training.
Unfortunately, most people didn’t learn common sense at home.
It needs to be taught every day in your workplace.
Start to inject it into your weekly meetings with your team.
What is IT?
It’s….. Telling The Truth. The Business Truth.
How about being TOTALLY UP FRONT with your team. If you believe they should stay with you in this crazy economy. And you believe they are worthy enough to represent you. Do you not also believe you can be straight with them? If not – why are they still with you?
Here’s a conversation I’ve had with my employees in the past:
“Look, you need to know I will go to the wall for you if you go to the wall for me.
I am paying you a forty-hour paycheck for forty hours of work. I do that so we can stay in business. When we take good care of our customers; when we do our jobs; and when we keep our word with everyone, this business succeeds. When this business succeeds, I get to keep you, and you get to keep working here.
“Please understand, I WANT you to succeed here. And I WANT this business to make it. It’s pretty simple. Can you live with that?”
The President of one of my client companies gives every employee on their first day of work this talk: “I want all of us here to succeed. I don’t keep people on my staff who don’t want this business to succeed. You succeed by showing up and giving your best shot every day. You succeed by telling me what kind of training you need. You succeed by noticing that we are a team here and our successes and our failures affect everyone. You succeed by getting better at what you are good at.
“You also need to know here’s how you get fired: lie to me, steal from me, take unscheduled time off for no reason, show up late, treat my customers badly, treat your co-workers badly. In other words, do things that make me not trust you. I would rather work with a short staff than one I can’t trust.
“Do you understand that I want to trust you? I want to empower you. I want us to have fun here. And I won’t stand for anything less.”
Pretty clear marching orders. And good common sense. If you have these conversations consistently, you are creating standards. Once everyone knows the game, they begin to police each other, and managing the team becomes easier.
Unfortunately, political correctness, fears of litigation, strong employee unions, and fearful HR departments have squelched most common sense conversations in the workplace.
Isn’t it time we took our success back?
Beth
~~
© 2007-2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.
Spring Clean Your Brain
Feeling a tad wiped out by this last year? It’s been quite a ride. Time to take a step back and regroup, Spring is always good for that. We clean house, hold garage sales, dust off the New Year’s Resolutions and see if we’ve made any progress. It’s a wondrous time of year to remember that even in the darkest of times, there is always Hope.
Don’t just clean out the house this Spring – Take your brain out and hose it off. Then dance with it for awhile.
Turn off the TV tonight and make a decision to sit on the back porch and enjoy the earth waking up again. Make plans to go to your local Botanical Garden. Schedule a massage. Take a friend or sweetheart dancing. Get brave and cook up something wild and different. Contact an old friend you haven’t seen in awhile. Repot some flowers. Reframe an old picture, Build a birdhouse.
Whatever you do, don’t make it hard work. Do something creative and fun that re-energizes you. If you need a reason – here’s one: Your Endorphin System Requires it. Stress wears out your endorphin system. Too much cortisol is produced (which causes those sudden extra rolls around your waist!) And you start to feel burned out.
Creativity, laughter, new or different routines — these are the things that wake up your internal pharmacy and make you happy again. Renew Yourself. Not just for you, but for all of us. We need you. And we need you healthy!
Take care of yourself. The world won’t end if you don’t read every single email, Tweet, and blog (except this one!) Go outside and enjoy Spring!
All the best,
Beth
© 2010 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
