9 Safety Tips You Need
It’s crazy out there, and the world is nuttier by the day. So it’s time to haul out the reminders. This is an email I just wrote for some female friends, but guys, you might want to think about these suggestions as well. Yes, this is a longer than usual post. But worth the read.
I was driving home on Shea Blvd. in Phoenix around midnight awhile back and a balloon filled with eggs came flying out of nowhere and hit my windshield. Rather than stopping, I drove a few miles and ran my car through a car wash. It took about a year to get the gunk out of the grill and hood. Morons. If you haven’t heard about this trick, criminals do this so you’ll stop and get out of your car. They are lying in wait for you so they can jump you and do whatever it is criminals do.
As women, we all need to be vigilant. We get targeted just because the perception is we are smaller.
A friend of mine was dragged alongside a car when thieves grabbed her purse while it was on her shoulder. They jumped back in the car with her still attached to the purse! This was at a grocery store parking lot in a swanky part of town two Christmases ago.
Here’s a little advice from my years as a cop’s wife (I used to help him type up reports, so I do know a few things firsthand):
- NEVER double click to open all your doors in a parking lot. Click once for your door, get in, lock the door, THEN put on your seatbelt and do whatever else you do. This keeps creeps from jumping into your car while you are putting stuff away and not paying attention.
- If you must double click to open your trunk, as soon as the trunk is open, click the lock again on your keyring so all doors are locked. That way only the trunk is unlocked. Before you start putting things in your trunk, toss your purse over the back seat or into the trunk. Then you aren’t a target and you haven’t stupidly left your purse on the shopping cart while you turn your back.
Example of the wrong way to do it: In a recent trip to the grocery store I saw a woman with the trunk and all 4 doors of her minivan wide open. The van was running. Her purse was on the front seat in plain view. She was strapping in kids and chattering away on her cell phone. I stood next to her with my arms crossed till she saw me and hung up.
I can’t help myself. I just had to give her an on-the-spot seminar. A carjacker could have grabbed her purse and driven off with her van and her kids inside. Someone could have grabbed all the stuff out of the wide open trunk. Someone could have grabbed her purse and run with it, knowing she wouldn’t leave her kids behind. I told her what I am telling you, and scared the dickens out of her. But, you know, we ladies have to look out for each other!
- Think about what’s in your purse. Do you REALLY need all that? Do you know what credit cards you are carrying? Do you have a copy of the front and back of all of them in a safe place at home? You need the back for the emergency numbers. Take some of your cards out and put them in a safe at home. Cops call this “Divide your Risks”… If you carry cash, and you know what you might need, pull that much out and stick it in your pocket so you aren’t flashing your wallet with all kinds of tempting stuff.
- Carry Less. Get a keyring that slips onto your belt loop. Use a hidden card/cash carrier and wear it inside your jeans or skirt. If you must carry a purse, use a little wallet for the valuables and tuck that away. Then your purse has nothing of value in it. Lipstick and kleenex you can replace… Consider a carrier for your phone. Wearing it at your waist may not be fashionable, but it keeps you safe. I assure you, the people who judge you on your fashion sense aren’t the ones who will come to your rescue if some idiot decides to grab your purse or packages. So who cares? Alive is better than “fashionable.”
- If you give your keys to any attendant – at a car wash, a restaurant, a valet, the repair shop — ONLY give them the car key. Have your keys set up so you can slip house keys and post office keys OFF before you hand them the keys to your life. NEVER leave keys in the ash tray in the car. Even if they aren’t to your house, if a thief sees keys, your car will get broken into.
- Watch your cards when you pay at a restaurant or anywhere else where they might process it out of sight. It takes very little to swipe an extra amount for themselves. And never use a debit card if you are paying online or in a place where you won’t see what they do with the card. Reports are coming in that poorly paid clerks and waithelp have been using their smartphones to take a picture of the front and back of patron’s cards. Then they have all they need to take all you have. Thieves can clean out your bank account before you get back to your car.
- Check your online statements frequently when you’ve been shopping in unfamiliar locations. I used my debit card ONE time in Seattle a couple of months ago. It’s a card I rarely use, so I know the place where it was swiped. When I got back from my trip, the bank called me and asked if I was in Libya or Arkansas. Someone in both places had tried to use my debit card just moments before. (It pays to have a good bank that keeps an eye on these things!)
- Be careful when parking in a huge lot. Watch for big vans with dark windows. This is not an urban legend. There have been reports around the country about this. You unlock your car and have your back to it, and the van door slides open. Either they’ve got you, your purse, or you and your car. If you do see that a van has parked next to your car, consider getting in from the passenger side. Unlock the doors, open your door, then click the lock immediately. It may or may not work, but it reduces risk.
- Be conscious about your vehicle before you enter it. You may have heard that criminals put a piece of paper on your front or back windshield. You get in without seeing it. They are counting on you stopping to take it off, and they swoop in and you’ve got trouble. It also pays to look in the back seat of the car before getting in. One of my girlfriends in LA ran down to the store for cigarettes, locked her car and was inside for 5 minutes. She came back out, jumped back in her car and drove off. As she rounded the corner, a man reached around from the back seat and held a knife to her throat. She’s more street savvy than me. She hit the emergency lights and leaned on the horn while yelling “NO!” As loud as she could with the windows down. He got scared and jumped out. You may not be so lucky.
- Cops say some people are more “muggable” than others. Walk with purpose. Pull those shoulders back. Look around. “SEE” everything. Don’t be talking on your phone or texting as you swing your purse and ignore all the signs of impending attack. When a bad guy is “seen” he has a tendency to go to an easier target. The last thing they want is for you to be able to identify them. And don’t think this only happens “in the bad part of town.” Not really. Why would a creep attack a woman with $20 in her purse, when he can go over to one of the high end malls and get thousands in credit cards and cash?
We have to understand that with a crazy economy, more people are turning to crime. Make your home, your car, and YOU less of a target. PAY ATTENTION. Look around. Do a couple of simple things and keep you and your kids safe.
All of this may sound terribly paranoid, and when you’re a cop’s ex-wife you just can never go back to Pollyanna thinking. But, as one guy said, “Only the paranoid survive!” <grin> I just want to help you think about your daily habits. If you can make being aware one of those habits, you and your kids will be a lot safer!
Good luck out there!
Beth Terry, CSP
© 2012 All Rights Reserved
Eric Chester on the Problem with Entitlement
We’re continuing our conversation with Eric Chester, CSP, an expert on the Millenial Generation and Reviving the Work Ethic.
Beth: Why is it that younger workers are being described with the term ‘entitled?’ And why are having such a hard time acclimating to a traditional work environment?
Eric Chester: They’ve grown up in a world where most people work hard to find ways of avoiding hard work. They’ve heard stories telling how lottery winners, day traders, bloggers, dot-commers, and Internet marketers have managed to beat the system and derive a huge bounty with little or no effort. They’ve been inundated with reality television that turns talentless fools into millionaires in the blink of an eye and with the greatest of ease.
The impact of this value programming has created a mindset shift. Work is no longer the primary source of personal pride, but rather something to disdain, to shortcut, or to elude altogether. In a perpetual quest to separate effort from reward, the average employee is less concerned about the value they can provide to their employers and more concerned about what they can get from them.
Beth: If you were speaking to a disengaged or disenfranchise worker, what advice would you give them to motivate them to give their best?
Eric: I’d tell them three things:
1. Do whatever is within your control to eliminate the things that demotivate you. Surround yourself with coworkers who enjoy their job as opposed to those “Debbie Downers” who always complain about the boss, the company, etc. If the break room makes you feel like you are in a jail cell, volunteer to come in on your day off and repaint it or bring in some table games, or posters, or music, etc. In other words, take steps to create a more positive space for you to operate.
2. Get out of the mindset that ‘work sucks’ or that ‘you’re stuck’. This is a free country and no one is making you work where you do. No matter who you are, what skills you currently have, or what you do to earn your daily bread, you have options. You can work harder and perform better in an attempt to get a promotion.
You can use your off work time to take classes or improve your skills to move up in your present company or to become more hire-able to another. You are in control of your career, so don’t allow yourself to develop a defeatist attitude or you will end up stuck, or worse, fired.
3. Work like you’re showing off. Approach your next shift as if your every move is being video recorded for a worldwide audience and that your parents, kids, friends, and future employers are all tuned-in. If you perform your normal job as you would under these conditions for an entire day, it would be impossible to feel down and disengaged. In fact, it will be impossible for your employers not to notice you. Very soon, you will be the very best at your job, and once you are, you will be promoted, you will see a dramatic increase in your pay, and you will be sought out by other employers. When you are the best at your job, your future is unstoppable.
When you are the best at your job, your future is unstoppable.
Beth: That makes sense, but a lot of people hate their job. Is it possible to work hard under those circumstances?
Eric: Passion doesn’t fuel work ethic; work ethic fuels passion.
Most people want to go about it backwards. They want to let their passions propel their efforts. They want an emotion-driven life, but our emotions don’t always lead us where we need to go or keep us where we need to be.
You won’t produce heat in your fireplace by saying, “Once there’s a fire, I’ll put in some logs.” You put the logs in and build a fire, and then you’ll see some heat. Likewise, the passion you have for a job is directly related to the initiative you put into it. Many highly successful people in all walks of life have discovered that because they put a great amount of effort into their job, their job eventually becomes their passion. They didn’t set out to be the world’s greatest carpet installer, data entry clerk, or fry cook; they just set out to be the best they could be while in their jobs, and the next thing they knew they were awesome at it!
If a young worker says, “I don’t have a passion for selling shoes,” the first thing he needs to do is show some initiative by making selling shoes a short-term passion. If he throws himself into it, does all he can to learn the business and make himself the best, and he still doesn’t develop a passion for the job, that’s fine. He has still improved his reputation for adding value to a job, made himself more hire-able, and developed his work ethic in the process. And then he can do his boss and himself a favor and quit. She’ll likely give him a good reference or help him find another position within the organization.
Beth: In your book you talk about the seven components of work ethic. What is the core truth you discovered in your research?
Eric: Over the past ten years, I’ve interacted with, listened to, and surveyed more than 1,500 employers (business owners, C-level executives, HR professionals, managers, supervisors, etc.) in an attempt to understand what work ethic looks like from their perspective. In each exchange, I listened to their various laments about that lack of work ethic and responded by asking this question:
“What do you expect from each and every employee?”
At the risk of sounding simplistic, I can summarize hundreds of responses in one sentence:
Employers are searching for positive, enthusiastic people who show up for work on time, who are dressed and prepared properly, who go out of their way to add value and do more than what’s required of them, who are honest, who will play by the rules, and who will give cheerful, friendly service regardless of the situation.
There are no negotiables in this summation. By that I mean that there isn’t any one of the seven core work ethic values represented above to which you, as a leader, don’t personally aspire and hold yourself accountable. Likewise, you expect these same core values to be evident in everyone you work for, work with, and oversee.
We can shorten the summation by defining each value with these seven terms: attitude, reliability, professionalism, initiative, respect, integrity, and gratitude.
~~~~
Eric Chester is an award winning keynote speaker and the author of Reviving Work Ethic: A Leader’s Guide to Ending Entitlement and Restoring Pride in the Emerging Workforce (Greenleaf 2012). He is also the Founder and CEO of The Bring Your A Game to Work program. He can be reached at 303-239-9999 or through www.RevivingWorkEthic.com
Reviving Work Ethic, Interview with Eric Chester
I caught up with Eric Chester on his new book, Reviving the Work Ethic.
Beth: Eric, in your view, what’s wrong with work ethic in America?
Eric: The decline of work ethic is not uniquely an American problem. It’s affecting all Western nations and a growing number of those in the East. However, if we examine the American workplace today with a comparable example from the 1930s, 1960’s, or even the 1990’s, it’s easy to see America has lost sight of the virtues that comprise work ethic—the very things that helped build our country.
The pursuit of happiness and the American Dream drove progress and innovation, but they came with unintended side effects. For instance, healthy ambition has morphed into avarice. Urbanization and the emphasis on large-scale businesses means fewer and fewer kids are learning about work in the natural course of family life.
No wonder so many employers are use terms like entitled, disengaged, unmotivated, and disloyal when describing their current workforce and potential labor pool.
Technological advances that make life faster, more fun, more entertaining, and easier to navigate are also consuming our time and energy while eliminating avenues for learning vital concepts about work. And pop psychologists have pushed parents to focus on building self-esteem in their children, creating at least two generations of me-centric workers. No wonder so many employers are use terms like entitled, disengaged, unmotivated, and disloyal when describing their current workforce and potential labor pool.
Beth: So you say employers are struggling with this issue, what have you noticed?
Eric: Even the eternally optimistic warm and fuzzy managers wince a bit when the term work ethic enters the dialogue. I interact with thousands of leaders, managers, business owners and execs each year and I’ve yet to find any who believe that the work ethic represented in the current labor pool stands up to that of the labor pool twenty, ten—or even five years ago. These same employers, however, will openly lament the prevailing entitlement mentality of the emerging workforce that many decry is contagious, now rampant among X’ers and even baby boomers.
Beth: So this isn’t just the youngest workers? Which generation is having the most trouble?
Eric: America’s emerging workforce—those in the sixteen-to-twenty-four age bracket—bring some amazing skill sets and personality traits into the labor pool. The challenge is that Millennials don’t always want to work, and when they do, their terms don’t always line up with those of their employers.
All too often, the young worker shows up ten minutes late wearing flip-flops, pajama bottoms, and a T-shirt that says “My inner child is a nasty bastard.” Then she fidgets through her shift until things slow down enough so she can text her friends or update her Facebook page from her smartphone.
These bright and ambitious recruits see work as something to avoid or as a necessary evil to endure prior to winning the lottery…
These bright and ambitious recruits see work as something to avoid or as a necessary evil to endure prior to winning the lottery, landing a spot on a reality television show, or getting a cushy, high-paying job with a corner office and an expense account.
Before you write this off as unfair stereotyping, consider what millennial workers had to say about themselves and their peers.
In February 2010, the Pew Research Center released an extensive report titled “Millennials: A Portrait of Generation Next” that proves this generation doesn’t identify with work ethic. The Pew research found that 61 percent of Millennials say their generation has a “unique and distinctive identity.” That’s about the same percentage you’ll find for other generations, but what’s different are the things Gen Y sees as its distinctive qualities.
In an open-ended follow-up question—“What makes your generation unique?”—work ethic was mentioned as a distinctive characteristic by at least 10 percent in the three older generations—Gen X (ages thirty to forty-five), Baby Boomers (ages forty-six to sixty-four), and the Silent Generation (ages sixty-five and up). That put it among the top five responses for those generations, and it was number one for Baby Boomers. It didn’t make the list for Millennials. Millennials said that what made them unique was technology use, music/pop culture, liberal/tolerant beliefs, greater intelligence, and clothes.
~~~~
Tomorrow – Eric Chester on the Entitlement Problem in America
Eric Chester is an award winning keynote speaker and the author of Reviving Work Ethic: A Leader’s Guide to Ending Entitlement and Restoring Pride in the Emerging Workforce (Greenleaf 2012). He is also the Founder and CEO of The Bring Your A Game to Work program. He can be reached at 303-239-9999 or through www.RevivingWorkEthic.com
Revitalizing the Work Ethic
I’ve always felt lucky to be raised in the Midwest. We learned a work ethic that has gotten me through many tough spots in life. And – no matter what side of Occupy Wall Street you’re on, you have to admit that some of the problems the kids are protesting really requires each to take a hard look in the mirror. At the end of the day, we are responsible for our choices, and we are responsible for the consequences of those choices. As they used to say in South Dakota, “When one finger points out, three more point back at you.”
For the next few days, I would love to share with you notes from an interview with Eric Chester, CSP, the author of “Reviving the Work Ethic: A Leader’s Guide to Ending Entitlement and Restoring Pride in the Emerging Workforce.”
Eric is a respected Leader in the National Speakers Association and has long worked with youth. He is tuned into this younger generation’s unique take on the world.
But, before we get into the interview, here’s a fun Video from “OCD = Old Caucasian Dude” that explains the book. Enjoy! And I’ll see you Tomorrow,
Beth
© Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Youtube Video used by Permission from Eric Chester.
Start Fresh ~ Clear the Clutter
Clutter got you down?
Take some time today to make a sweep of your home. Look for items you can recycle, re-gift, give to charity, toss or shred.
The easiest way to do this is to give yourself a time limit. No more than 2 hours to start. Otherwise you’ll get bogged down and will never do this again.
Ask yourself:
- Do I need this?
- Does this help me in any way?
- Can someone else use it better than me?
- In the past year, have I worn it/ used it/ remembered I have it?
- Is there a kindergarten class that can use this? A woman’s shelter? A family member or friend?
- Can I sell this on ebay?
Set some boxes out in the living room with labels on them: Recycle, Trash, Donate, Pack Away, Send to Friends, Sell. As you go through your things, put them in the appropriate box. (You can always change your mind!)
Once you’ve got a handle on the clutter, take care of the easy stuff first. “Trash and Recycle” in many towns means putting it in a bin on the curb. Homeless shelters, women’s shelters, Goodwill, and Salvation Army will take useful things off your hands gladly. With our current economic situation, you will be a blessing to many people if you can let go of things you don’t use or need anymore.
While you have those boxes out, pack up a few things and send them off to your kids, your friends, and your family. I was doing cleanup and found things my children had made for me over the years, along with old school reports and books. With children of their own now, they “get” it. They were thrilled to get a box full of random memories. (It didn’t hurt either for them to see that their childhoods were actually full of a lot of love and joy!)
Pack away the rest of the things you think you still need/want. Then either throw a garage sale or put some things on ebay. If you’re too busy to do either, look it up. There are people who will sell your stuff for a commission.
The reward for taking 2 hours out of this beautiful day will be a clearer mind, a clearer work space, and a fresh start for a new year filled with possibilities.
~~~~
I wrote this on my wall several years ago when going through a tough time:
Each night we die to the days before us and each morning we awake to new life and new opportunities. At the end of the year, we die to the old year and awake on January 1 to a blank slate upon which we can write our future hopes and dreams. May you awaken to hope, joy, and possibilities!
All the best,
Beth
© 2011 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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Holiday Cheerz and Mondegreens*
When I was a little girl in South Dakota, our church served “virgin eggnog” at Christ
mas. It was years before I figured out that meant “without alcohol.” I was afraid to drink it. I wasn’t sure where they got the ingredients from..
I thought “chestnuts roasting on an open fire” had something to do with the game of 
Chess. We always had a chess table set up at our house, so it made perfect sense to me that someone would want to toss those damn game pieces in the fire.
I always crave egg salad sandwiches on New Years. I never eat them any other time. As kids in South Dakota, we spent New Year’s eve in the basement of the church while the grownups had church upstairs. The church ladies made green and red bread and rolled it out so they could fill it with egg salad or tuna. Then they cut it like sushi rolls. It probably scarred me for life. Eating green bread? Euw.
Songs I misheard:
“Hark the Harold Danger Sings!” I knew what Hark meant from Sunday School, but I thought some guy name Harold was singing about danger to warn Mary and Joseph. They were, after all, teenagers running away through the desert!
“Gloo ooooo ooooo ooria, In Excess Oh Deo!” I had no idea what that meant except for a vague understanding that Deo had something to do with God, and apparently there was an excess of whatever it referred to. Singing it always made me hungry for Oreo™ cookies.
This isn’t a Christmas song, but it’s another one I misheard:
“Papa was a rolling stone. And when he died, all he left us was a loan!” Well, it made sense to me. He wasn’t responsible, so he took out a loan and we had to pay it back when he bugged out. Jerk!
Here’s my favorite Christmas joke:
Little Johnny wants a bike for Christmas, so he writes a letter to Santa. “Dear Santa. Please bring me a bike for Christmas.” Johnny gives it to mommy to mail. But she tells him, “Son, we don’t pray to Santa, we pray to Jesus.”
So Johnny tears up the first letter and starts again: “Dear Jesus, please bring me a bike for Christmas.” Not trusting his mom at this point, Johnny runs down the street to mail it. As he’s about to drop it in the box, he realizes he needs to barter. So he tears up letter #2 and, sitting down on the sidewalk, he starts writing again. “Dear Jesus, if you give me a bike for Christmas, I’ll do the dishes for mommy for ONE WHOLE YEAR.” As he walks to the mailbox he thinks, “Eh, I’m never gonna do that!!”
Johnny now starts on his fourth letter. “Dear Jesus, if you get me a bike for Christmas, I promise not to tease Sally for ONE WHOLE DAY!” As he’s walking to the mailbox he looks across the street and sees a manger scene. He stuffs the letter in his pocket and runs across the street. 
Back home, Johnny tears up letter #4, stuffs the statue of the Baby Jesus in a blanket under his bed, and starts again, “Dear Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again….”
Ok Ok, don’t get yer undies in a twist. That’s a joke Pastors like to tell before a sermon about bargaining with God. I know, I heard it from my pastor Dad.
After I met my soon-to-be husband, I was sitting with his 5 year old daughter on the porch swing. She studied me for a bit and then asked me, “How many Christmases did you have?” I figured she was trying to guess my age. So I told her. She screwed up her face and looked up at the sky for a long time. Then she asked, “Well. How many do you get?“
Ahh, if only we could answer that question! This could be your last! Make the best of it!
Well, that’s all I got for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa week.
May you have a wonderful, merry, delightful, wonder-filled Holiday, even if you do have to spend it with people who make you crazy.
*Mondegreen: mishearing things in a funny way
Blessings,
Beth
© 2011 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Family Holiday Pressure Cooker?
Everything is relative, including our relatives. We wish we had a fairytale family where everyone gets along and differences are slight. Unfortunately for many, one day into the holidays there’s trouble brewing.
I know this because a family is made up of humans: ornery, weird, contrary, unpredictable humans. Yes, we are also kind, caring, compassionate and sweet. When we gather with relatives, it gets dicey: probably because we’re related and we think we know each other. When we see our own irritating quality in a sibling, we react. We don’t have to, but it just feels so … righteous!
Need a Plan for your time together so you don’t lose your mind? Here you go:
At family gatherings (and all gatherings) use my R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Method:
Reel it in. If you rarely see these people, pick your battles. Is it necessary to get in a fight? Don’t respond to their taunts. What do you win? Curb your own tendency to bring decades-old rivalries forward as well.
Empathize. We all are going through our own trials and tribulations. We really don’t know our relatives all that well. We don’t know what pains they’ve endured or what keeps them awake at night. Step back and see them as people, not as representations of your messed up childhood.
Seek Commonality. Find areas of agreement and focus there. Focus on the privilege of having family around, no matter how much they drive you nuts.
Politeness Works. Use “please” and “thank you.” Show gratitude for the contributions they’ve made in your life, even if they only serve as a terrible warning.
Edit your mouth. You have zingers of your own for various relatives. We are all capable of saying that thing we know will drive them crazy. Zip it. Unnecessary roughness at family gatherings leaves scars. Don’t make that the memory they take home.
Care. This is your flesh and blood. Care about them. Show compassion. Take a break from judging and just enjoy the moment with them.
Time out. Give yourself one if you are getting emotionally tangled as the tree lights. Step away from 
the family. Run out to finish your shopping. Recharge your emotional batteries with exercise, sports, shopping, or a massage.
The day comes too soon when some of these relatives won’t be here. Create memories that will flood you with happiness when you think of them. Don’t let little things become big messes and destroy your Holidays together.
Be Safe, Be Happy,
Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas,
Keep Holidays magical for kids! (my girl Cha @age 5)
and Enjoy whatever Holidays you celebrate!
Holiday Blessings,
Beth
@2011 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
If quoted, must include attribution and link. Thanks!
Five Survival Tips for the Holidaze
It’s the crazy season! A woman pepper sprays a crowd over a stack of towels at WalMart. A gang lies in wait in the parking lot to mug the “Black Friday” shoppers. A rival gang mugs the muggers… 
Are you watching the news and shaking your head? Wondering how we can bring back that ol’ Holiday feeling we once had?
It’s possible. Change your mind and you can enjoy the holiday season without ending up in a little white jacket or a padded cell.
I’m all for finding bargains, and I want to remember my friends and family with something special. Not at the cost of my sanity or my budget, however.
Ideas to keep you sane over the rest of the month:
1. Get your Priorities Straight
What’s this season really about for you? Before leaping into any of the same rituals and traditions, take a deep breath. What matters? What will create lifelong memories for the ones you love? How can you honor your personal and business relationships in a way that doesn’t destroy your financial, emotional, or physical health?
2. You’re in Charge
Are the stressors caused by you? Do you have unrealistic expectations about what you can accomplish? Are you trying to be perfect? Get done what you can and don’t worry about the rest. I started mowing the lawn late this afternoon (yes, in Phoenix we mow lawns in December…) I forgot how quickly it gets dark this time of year. I left it half-mowed, and I’ll get to it tomorrow night. Or not. Some things don’t HAVE to be done all at once. What’s the worst thing that can happen? It’ll grow back…
3. Get Creative
Personal gift certificates are always a hit (as long as you aren’t over-committing.) Time means a lot to your loved ones: a promise to your kids that each will get a special meal with just you; mowing the lawn for an older relative; taking a friend shopping after the holidays. Special photographs in unique frames. Fresh baked goodies. You are making memories. Choose what those will be.
4. Pick a theme for the year.
With a theme you conserve time and energy finding your gifts. Bert Prostor makes amazing clay ornaments, and I’m having some of them personalized. They’re easy to ship and one of a kind. She has fun ones for the social media crowd, too. Check out her site at Bert’s Clay Creations.
My sister often gives a large donation to a charity and sends each of us a special ornament in honor of that charity. Every year when I open my ornament box, I’m unwrapping wonderful memories of years past. I want that for my friends and my kids as well.
5. Carve out time for yourself.
If you choose to dive into the insanity of the mall, remember to schedule a massage, a pedicure, a walk through the botanical gardens, a lunch with friends… Don’t turn shopping and checking off a list the “reason for the season.” Stop at least once a day and look around you. Enjoy the smells and sights of the season. Play a little music. Go watch the Nutcracker Suite with friends.
Years ago a friend and I took a break from shopping and went for a walk. We heard angelic voices singing the Hallelujah Chorus, and headed towards a nearby church, expecting to see a choir in a professional production. It was the congregation of a Tongan church singing in four part harmony. We stowed away in the back of the church and were awed by the soaring voices of this congregation. If we hadn’t taken time out and gone for an evening walk, we would have missed out on one of my best memories from that time.
Take care of yourself this season.
The memories are what matter.
Enjoy making them!
Beth
~~~~
Great Quotes to Ponder
~ “Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!” ~Hamilton Wright Mabie
~ “People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find time for illness.”
John Wanamaker
~ “One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” ~Andy Rooney
~ “Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.” ~Eric Sevareid
© 2011 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved
How to Guarantee Your Company Will Fail
People do stupid things when they are afraid. They pull back resources when they should be reaching out. They make knee-jerk decisions about policies and practices. They allow their fear to overtake courage. The word dis-courage means just that. To dismiss courage. To disassemble courage and strength.
As a previous post showed, the real difference between failure and success is simple. Success is getting up one more time than you fall down. Success requires the Belief that you can get up one more time.
Companies are making incredibly stupid decisions:
- Ignoring long-time good clients and customers.
- Creating policies that drive customers away.
- Reducing payroll and employees so low they can’t operate their businesses.
I coined a term during our last big recession in 1981: Corporate Anorexia and was scolded by an editor at a Hawaii paper for creating an inflammatory term. She said, “Oh Beth, we can’t say that it’s an unkind characterization of corporations that are struggling.” (This was my first alert about the coming Political Correctness insanity from a recent Berkeley grad…)
Great ideas are often thought of simultaneously. It’s their time to be born. Several months later, I read another article using the same term. Corporate Anorexia is the state where a company has reduced its stamina and resources to the point of starvation and failure.
Informal Leaders
I’ve worked as a speaker and consultant in thousands of organizations. Most companies make it, not because of leadership at the top, but because of informal leadership within middle management and longtime frontline employees.
Granted, as we say in Hawaii, “The fish rots from the head down.” There are many examples of bad leaders destroying great organizations. But middle and front line management often provides the inspiration that makes a company great.
How to Guarantee the Company will Fail
Let’s look at a typical Corporate Anorexia tale. (Names have been changed to – well – keep me from litigation!)
Ethel in Marketing knows the customers. She has spoken to hundreds of them and understands their heart, their desires, their frustrations. Tom over in engineering understands what makes them crazy and how to fix it. Janey, a 20-year veteran in the purchasing department knows which orders to expedite and which can be handled at a more leisurely pace. Bob, the CEO, is the 7th CEO in the company’s history. He knows how to play the big game. How to hobnob and say all the right words at the company picnic. He’s a numbers guy and he loves to have collegial conversations about business, “the street,” derivatives, and golf, Bob may think he is the company. He’s not.
In some companies “Bob” is a visionary and a great leader. Sometimes he’s a figurehead. How do we know the difference? Pay attention to how the CEO handles a financial crisis. Watch as Bob creates stricter customer policies that are more company-centered than customer-centered. Watch the fallout when Bob decides Ethel , Tom, and Janey are too expensive because of their longevity, and he replaces them with green twenty-somethings. Or he doesn’t replace them at all. Read about Bob’s large payout when the company starts to take a dive and Bob decides to golf elsewhere.
We will then be treated to the sad story of the market and the economy taking Bob’s company out. However, if you talk with Ethel, Tom, and Janey, they will remind you they recommended treating the customers well during the downturn, cutting them some slack, creating ways to keep the customers happy. They could have called old customers and helped them solve problems. They could have worked deals in supplies and equipment. They would have told Bob not to create anti-customer policies. But these informal leaders weren’t there to mop up after Bob.
Punchline? If competitors were smart, they scooped up Ethel, Tom and Janey. The competitors are weathering the economic insanity very well because of that one smart move.
Are you savvy enough to hire people with smarts and keep the ones who make their jobs look easy? Just because they make it look easy doesn’t mean they aren’t earning their pay. Make sure you understand the unintended consequences before you kill your golden geese. And if you see a competitor making a stupid move, swoop in and hire the stars they were too blind to appreciate.
Beth
© 2011 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved
What are your choices?
Life is a roller coaster. Unless you live alone in a cave, you will run into people and situations that unnerve you. What can you do? I’ve had three situations in the past month:
- A thief stole my debit card and tried to charge hundreds of dollars in a foreign country.
- Days later, as I sat on the shuttle to the airport I realized one of my bags was missing and was still sitting on the parking lot pavement.
- Earlier that day, I was hurrying to get to the airport and the phone rang. It looked like a client’s number so I picked up, realizing too late It was a telemarketer. I muttered to myself “they are just trying to make a living,” kept my opinions to myself and politely declined. Now very late, I raced out the door, exasperated.
Choice One:
The world sucks
Everyone is out to get me (shuttle driver, identity thief, telemarketers)
I have such rotten luck
Choice Two:
I am protected because I’ve made good choices
I have angels looking out for me
I live a charmed life
I pick Choice Two.
Why?
~ My bank’s fraud team has my back. National Bank of Arizona called my cell and asked me if I was in Lebanon! Or Arkansas. This was within 5 minutes of the transactions. Thieves stopped in their tracks. Canceled. Intercept! Cool.
~ At the parking lot, another shuttle driver saw my bag, grabbed it and ran to my shuttle. He handed it to my driver and grinned at me. This Parking Spot driver was at the entrance when I arrived and I had helped him with the new system. When I needed help, he was there. Disaster averted! Intercept! Saved me a lot of pain!
That telemarketer had delayed me just long enough to keep me out of a pile up.
~ After the telemarketers call, I sped out of the house. Rounding the corner to get on the freeway, I watched in slow motion as four cars piled into each other at my onramp. I stayed in the middle lane, and took the next onramp. That telemarketer had delayed me just long enough to keep me out of a pile up. Disaster averted! Intercept! Thank God.
In each case I was OK. Each time an “earth angel” had my back. Do these things happen as a reminder someone is looking out for us? Or maybe it’s all coincidence. No matter, I choose to see these events positively. Why? It’s good for the soul, lowers blood pressure, improves heart rate, and increases ability to function. When we believe we are protected and life works out the way it’s supposed to, we may or may not be delusional. But we are healthier for thinking that way.
What are your choices? Look for silver linings, or get depressed. Be an “earth angel” or go it alone. Alert the woman who dropped her wallet while juggling a little kid. Hold open a door. Assist someone with luggage or groceries. Smile at a clerk having a bad day. Think of it as a bank account. Each act of kindness is a deposit. You never know when you’ll need to make a withdrawal.
Granted, you aren’t served if you live your life in denial. But looking for silver linings in every situation short circuits the pity party in your head and gets you back to a productive life.
Keep smilin’
Beth
©2011 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved
